Surviving Babies and Toddlers
Are you thinking about having a baby? Well, don’t read this book!
Kidding aside, read this book. In an age of conspiracy theories, social media deep fakes, political spin, and total uncertainty, Surviving Babies and Toddlers grounds readers in truthful Parenting Reality.
In this witty, down-to-earth memoir, author Joel Houston, with the full support of his beleaguered wife, Katie, helps wannabe parents wake up from romanticized dreams of parenting bliss. He leads us into the trenches of raising children, where we learn about the “horror movie” of birth; diaper-loving dogs; awful fashion pageants; knife-wielding toddlers; and how far a baby’s projectile vomit can travel. (Far.)
And yet . . . and yet, Houston never leads us to despair. Despite the daily struggle of raising babies and toddlers, the author helps us see that children and family are the most important things in life.
This book is for:
anyone who aspires to have children and wants to know about Reality
new parents searching for survival tactics (e.g. join a mothers-only Red Wine Therapy group)
empty-nester parents trying to understand why they no longer have strength or soul but still miss the kids
eNDORSEMENTS FROM fAMOUS pEOPLE
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“I ONCE HAD TO CHANGE A DIAPER AND IT WAS DISGUSTING! AND WHEN MY BROTHERS WENT INTO POTTY TRAINING, IT WAS, LIKE, MADNESS!
— Vienna, age eight, who helps her mother take care of triplets
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“I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY GOOD. ALSO, MEOW!”
— Colton, age seven
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“CAN I HAVE SOME GOLDFISH NOW?”
— Aedan, age ten
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"I STILL CANT READ"
— Brennan, age six
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“AEDAN AND BRENNAN ARE CRAZY.”
— Bella, age nine
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"BUT I WANTED MY HOT CHOCOLATE TO BE COLD!”
— Beck, age five, upon receiving his bribe for this endorsement
About the Author
Joel Houston has a bachelor’s degree in economics and an MBA from Pacific Lutheran University. Today, Joel, Katie, and their three children live in South Carolina. He is also the author of Surviving a Startup, which describes his adventures running his own warehousing business.
Copyright © 2020 by Joel Houston
Cover design by James Clarke (United Kingdom)
Published by Endeavor Literary Press
Print: 978-1-7358671-0-6
Ebook: 978-1-7358671-1-3